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Jessica Smyth's avatar

Right there with you! You nailed my complicated relationship to my body and identity with this:

“Feeling otherwise unremarkable and knowing that the size of my body left an impression on people taught me that being thin was a key part of my identity. Without this quality, I would be completely forgettable.”

Bravo for articulating this so well. 👏

Dana Miranda's avatar

Thank you! It took me a long time to unpack this.

DeathReady with T.J.'s avatar

I was really skinny as a kid, too, and my family liked to have me run around the block and then they'd watch my heartbeat through my very skinny chest. I gained some weight in college, then lost it when I took up marathoning. But I've always felt bad about myself when people say "you're so thin!" And then "I hate you" but with a laugh. These menopausal days I'm most interested in being STRONG so that's my focus. Thanks for unpacking all this!

Dana Miranda's avatar

Thank you for sharing your experience, too! I feel that “I hate you”! What an awful “joke” to hear your whole life 🤦‍♀️

Amanda Richards's avatar

I always heard the fatphobia loud and clear. My aunts would compliment my thinness, and then immediately say something bad about their own larger bodies. It made me quite afraid of growing up, as a kid, because I knew this coveted skinny body was unlikely to follow me into adulthood.

Dana Miranda's avatar

That's so much pressure to take on as a kid! I hate how its so normalized for women to insult their bodies in front of other people and especially children.

Kristi Koeter's avatar

I've really enjoyed this series. We all have these different parts of ourselves that feel different or weird or just a sticking point for everyone else. I've spent far too much of my life's energy focused on my body, and I do wonder what I could have accomplished if I had focused on something else. But I also feel like we get there when we get there. I'm grateful to my 40s and now 50s for showing me this other way.

Dana Miranda's avatar

Absolutely! I appreciate this perspective — it's good to remember that we get there when we get there, instead of feeling like years have been lost. It's all part of my life, and I'm grateful for this life!

Untrickled by Michelle Teheux's avatar

I was skinny as a child but fat after having children. Nothing I did changed that until GLP-1s came along. They put me at a healthy weight effortlessly, without having to obsess. I’m eating the exact same Mediterranean diet as ever, but slightly less now.

I think about food when I’m hungry, and then not at all.

It’s good to decenter food thoughts.